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Wednesday, April 6, 2016
I never appreciated my mother that much because every time she returns home I always feel like I am on death trial. I am not sure why and how I got this feeling, but I assume that's because she has always been a very strict parent in terms of expectations and at the same time she's extremely easygoing... that means you never know when 'too much' is too much. Actually now I come to think o it, "too much" is her favourite phrase whenever she want to scream at me. 

I don't get screamed at as often now, I don't think its because I grew a lot more sensible but I guess she got tired of screaming at me.

Anyhow, she came home today from work (while I lazed around the house the entire day) and gave the dog a nice warm shower and did a few chores and wham a wave of guilt hit me mercilessly in the face. 

I have been at home for the past 24 hrs (yes, I didn't even leave to get my meals), I have done absolutely nothing to contribute to the house that my mum labouriously paid and maintain for us. AND MY DOG, I didn't even bother to shower her because I grew a weird liking for her smell. I think it's the familiarity that I like. I didn't even take Cocoa out for walks as my 17 self would always yap about when I have obligations to attend to.

I take everything for granted. 

Sorry this is tremendously boring for you, I just kinda need an outlet.