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Wednesday, July 1, 2015

I was just reading a friend’s social media (evidence of procrastination, this is bad, Tiger Dad is going to be very disappointed **inside joke) and it struck me just how real that person is (let’s name the person, Bobby). This form of real rawness really comes out of being adorable AND blunt. Honey, you can’t have one but not the other. If you like EVERYTHING you hear from a person chances are 1) You are 100% perfect 2) your friend is not being true with you. I guessing that we all fall into the latter.

People refrain from doing or speaking about things which upsets another. Like my mother once told me “just because it is the ‘truth’ doesn’t mean people will accept it”. 

To be really honest, I did not immediately come to a consensus of whether I liked the Bobby as a person or not. However the people in our social circle were more skewed towards the negative side. They don’t hate Bobby, they just didn’t really like how Bobby talked about a certain things. It didn’t matter to me at that point of time because I just knew Bobby and I know that Bobby is going to stay in this social setting for a really, really long time. 

I have a friend from secondary school who likes it when people are ‘real’ with her, and I learned a great deal from that. I remember looking for friends who were able to vibe along with me; but the moment we lose our vibe, we lose our connection. The moment things get tough, we surrender. I always leave friendships thinking if I am the one the caused the whole problem. No, I kid, most of the times I think my friend is the problem. IT WAS NEVER ME. Bad mentality I had when I was younger.  I’ll leave that for another day.

Slowly as time goes by, I started to know Bobby a little more. I do not take offence in the things that he say, at all. Deep down, I know whatever Bobby has to say is rooted to something – a belief, an idea or an understanding. Just because it is wrong, doesn’t mean that Bobby is bad. Just means that he has a misconception on something. It is a lot easier to communicate with Bobby because we all know that Bobby is being honest/real. There is nothing he wants to sugar coat and manipulate to his own advantage. What’s the word... hidden agenda? Yes, Bobby has no hidden agenda. And I guess our group of friends are more appreciative of Bobby right now. Unless you are telling me that you actually like people who likes to keep a front/rep/fake public persona then yeah.... go ahead.

I have no idea just how many friends I let go because I did not form a liking immediately, how many ‘real’ friends I actually threw out because I wasn’t comfortable with the way they address a certain issue. All I am saying now is that being honest and real with another being requires a lot of effort and courage, and should be perceived as an attractive quality in both partners and friends.

It truly is, and I am trying every waking day to be as real and honest as I possibly can. It is not because “Crystal don’t care one”, I do. I care a for a huge deal, but the moment I let the idea that I need to behave a certain way to be socially accepted, I lose a big part of my personality. What is the point of having a reputation of being classy/sassy/nice when it is not you. If you put up a front and gets 100 suitors, you need to remind yourself that they only like you for who you pretend to be. I can be myself all day and all I need is that one boy, with his fluffy hair to tell me that I am adorable. That’s the greatest.

c.t. //