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Tuesday, March 17, 2015
I am an independent child, my mom firmly believed that I should learn on my own.  So I spent a lot of time out alone, yada yada. That being said, I get catcalled a lot. I think girls would at least experience this once or twice..? I suppose the main reason to that is because we were caught alone at night? Such incidents literally WILL NOT happen if I am with H or my friends and family.

There was once I went to swim in a one-piece swimsuit - the kind that makes you look like a seal, and a group of boys kept calling out for me. I remember H was coming back from overseas that day, but I did not want to idle at home before his arrival so I went out for a swim. I ignored the boys initially and scurry off to the showers after their catcalling gets a little too intense for me to ignore. But guess what? After I washed up, I found them outside the pool, already washed up and waiting. Waiting for me.......? They tried following me home. I was so angry I turned back, gave them The Finger and stomped off... which made them laugh. It was humiliating but thankfully they stopped following.

HOW IS IT THAT IM DRESSED AS A SEAL AND YOU STILL WANT TO HARASS ME?!? Just because I am a girl you want to penetrate me?! IS THAT SO? ARE YOU THAT INTERESTED IN FEMALE SEAL?!?!?!?!?!?!? I was never more humiliated and I have no idea what their intentions were. To make me feel unsafe? To make sure that I learnt my lesson and go out only when there is somebody else going out with me? To compliment me? How is it a compliment or a flattery? I am very sure H only whistles to get Cocoa's attention. Are you trying to get my attention? Are you calling me a dog now?

I think my worst catcall was when this group of beng bengs told me: "chio bu, the one in *description* shirt, you either give me your number or get beaten up by us", I RAN LIKE USAIN BOLT. I hate the people that makes the world unsafe and I know by writing this crappy piece will not help much, but I feel that people should know how it feels like to be catcalled.

Phase 1: Defensive Mode Initiated
When somebody whistles at me, my body goes into this defensive mode. It's fight or flight. I can literally feel the asshole staring down to my ass, and up again. At this point if anybody touches me, I am probably going to jump or punch the person without hesitation.

Phase 2: Possible Outcomes (that are far more dramatic in your head)
In my head, I come up with all sorts of possible outcomes. I imagine the asshole trying to grab me, stop me in my path, flash, molest, rape or murder me. No. Seriously. I am not even kidding. This is what goes in a girl's head when you start yelling at her because of her looks or figure. There is never a "aww... that guy so sweet, complimenting me in public, maybe I should give my number". NEVER, like what ah lians like to say, "eu w8z nong nong lorzxs".

I know this sounds bizarre and stupid but every single time some boy decides that it is fun to 'disturb' me, my brain just goes crazy screaming, "F**K (yeah, I curse sometimes. If you are Gena then I probably curse all the time) YOU BETTER RUN, SOMEBODY IS GONNA RAPE YOU". #truestory #truerthanmyidentity

Phase 3: The Escape
After what feels like an eternity, I flee. By flee I meant, walking ferociously fast so as to get your eyes off my ass. When you feel like the girl that you just whistled at is running away from you, she probably is you ugly creep.

Phase 4: The Humiliation
I feel sick. I usually feel like a piece of meat. Maybe that is how some of you see girls, but I know to some people, I am more than just flesh. I am my wits, my humour and my temper. I have no idea why, but at the end of the day, I feel embarrassed. I am embarrassed about my own body, my gender and my inability to come up with anything else to make people stop. I am uncertain of the reason why some stupid boy decides to 'punish' me just because I am a girl and out too late in the night. This world belongs to me too.
When you catcall, it is not a tease, it is a threat. 

I cannot believe I typed all that just because I was whistled at while out to get two disappointing paus to fill my empty stomach. Maybe if the paus were great, I would not have bothered. I risked my life for two pathetic paus. 778 words just because my paus sucked. I realise my block quote sound like a riot quote or campaign quote. Maybe I can be next online sensation also, HA. HA. HA. OKBYE.