Perhaps a ranting entry, so skip if you wish!
About class:
Sixteen more days before Y2 starts (o m g), and I decided write about the more untold stories (my stories) about schooling in a polytechnic (disclaimer: it defers with individuals). 17 and hopeful, I went for orientation with much enthusiasm despite how badly organised the day 'camps' were. I was overwhelmed by how awkward everybody was. I think if you really want people to remember you, do really CRAZY stuff. I can vividly remember SH, an ex-classmate when asked to go convince a fire extinguisher to befriend him as a form of punishment, he said "who wouldn't want to be my friend?" Weird, but he definitely got my attention.
I was more outspoken and willing because I thought to myself if I started to be more 'fun', people would follow. Meh, didn't work for my class, but I guess initially people liked me. I was asked to be the class representative and it felt good. Soon, school begun. For some reason my class is divided by gender, LOL, I don't know why but I wasn't drawn towards befriend-ing any of the guys in class, they are cool but... they are not Damien, Gary, Zhixian, Bryan or Justin.
Just look at them, how cute.
Anyhow, I figured that the guys felt the same about the girls. So came Mid-Semester Test (MST) and I'm struggling to find The One Friend to be closer to. Perhaps I was too picky, or probably too arrogant? It didn't take the girls very long to have a 'favourite' friend to hang out with. I felt like an out-cast and was barely surviving in school, it wasn't like that when in Anderson. I always have a group that I can go sit with during recess period, and I was meticulously cared for by friends like ZK.
Then there was this period of time where my dad's grandma was admitted into the hospital, my dad was devastated telling me how she was the only person whom took great care of him when he was younger. My attention naturally skewed towards family matters, and there was this time my group asked of me to form a paragraph given 2 statistics informations. I did, however it was "not long enough". I told them I couldn't think of anything to 'crap' and make it longer. Not knowing about my family condition, they went ahead and did rest of the work themselves. Later that year, two of my members marked me down for my 'quality of work'. My tutor retained my marks after listening to my side of story, but I was mad. CRAZILY MAD. I hated them, I hated school and I couldn't stop crying. I rushed down to Honwee immediately and I couldn't walk 5 minutes with crying. I think I hit rock bottom, solid rock bottom. Actually it still upsets me when I think about it. :( :( :( how could you????
One day, I kept it in me for far too long, and quarrelled with them (my group), I was surprised by how angered I was. To their defence, they didn't know what was happening and naturally assumed I was out partying with my bf. Things never got better, I never wanted to group with the guys in class for classwork after that incident, but there were only 9 girls and most of them wanted to do their project work with the boys. During semester 2, I was abandoned a few times to group with people whom are considered 'black sheeps' of the class. No worries tho, still aced all my project work. *wink
It was bad. Really bad, the last few weeks of semester 2 I had to lie to the girls and tell them that I'm having lunch with another friend when actually I went somewhere in the corners of TP chewing on bread and whatnot. In TP business's canteen, 1 table only had 4 seats, and when I left, they can actually occupy only 2 tables and nobody had to sacrifice spending time with their favourite friend by sitting with me. I knew that people didn't favour me anymore, I was generally sad. I even had a tutor asking me if I was okay because I haven't been looking 'okay' for awhile now.
It is probably my fault that things turned out this way, maybe I was straight-up weirdo or that I have too much say in things I want to do. School work tho is not too demanding, I feel. I do not have too much problem with any of the subjects, it's not like Secondary School's History, Chemistry, or English, yes definitely not like O levels English. At least, for year 1?
I learnt that when doing project with people who are very demanding, just do your part and do it well. Let them organise anyhow they like, they can choose the fonts, the colour of the fonts whatsoever. It doesn't have to matter, let them do it their way. 30% of your grade might seem like a really huge matter to you but remember you still have control over 70% of your results. If you really don't think your project work is going to give you an A, start mugging. It doesn't matter if you do not have any opinion, they only mark down people who are not there or do have time to do their work.
About CCA:
I joined a club, lol, something Studies Club. LOL. I really wanted to participate camps and all and be involved with school. It was all fun initially until....... I found out how weird people are? I think I am going to offend a handful of people but I feel that a lot of the people I know there are very attention seeking? Sorry. O wait, you can't apologise for your opinion so, not sorry. If you are from DPA and has a closer group that's fineeeee, you are the envy of all us freshmen who are barely surviving. However if you are not anybody and you be all flirty to 'get in' the clique, it is just downright weird. They friggin' wear dr marts for sub-com camp and throw themselves at boys. God, please, stop. I went for a few events and decided that I don't feel at home so I left. I didn't want to be all slutty and 'cute' to be 'in', not even if Honwee is okay with it.
About Poly as a whole:
I think public relation is very important? I am still trying to find a way to befriend more people without having to stoop myself down to their level of 'befriend-ing'. Material possession can only bring you that far, I once assumed that if I had all the nice clothes (explains my exploding closet), people would like me. Neh, didn't work out like I hoped it did. Must be my bitch-resting face, or my personality :< ? Or both.
Then again, maybe it's just me.
I'm probably weird.